Doctor of the Dead
by rockbloodyon
Summary: Doctor Who x Shaun of the Dead. The Doctor and Rose find themselves in the year 2004, where the dead are dead no more and Death himself lends a helping hand...
1. Chapter 1

I got challenged by **eclipsedragon** to write a fanfic involving five different objects/people/things. She specified no particular category, genre or rating.

This is a Doctor Who, Shaun of the Dead crossover. (Odd combo I know, but I felt like writing an odd one.)

The five things are:

Lyon from Fire Emblem (In character) I have no idea who Lyon is or what he is like so, sorry if I get him completely wrong.

Death (personified)

Big green dog-like things with teeth.

The Pirate (a budgerigar called pirate)

A flying purple yak called Yakult. (Inside joke…)

This might be one-shot, could be a two-shot, or even, if you are VERY lucky, a multi-chapter story.

Hope you like it! (It could turn out to be a complete disaster)

Disclaimer: I don't own anything apart from the aching joints with which I type this.

P.S. Please tell me if you think it will be good! Ideas as to which direction the plot should go are welcome!


	2. Brief Introductions

**So, here it is. I warn you, it is rather silly and AU. Although…Doctor Who is sort of AU within itself. And Shaun of the Dead if you think about it…**

**Rating: T – For language alone….And maybe a bit of violence.**

**There are subtle references to Series 3 so imagine Doomsday never happened. There may be Shaun of the Dead spoilers later on. You have been warned! **

**Oh and sorry for the AWFUL technobabble. I need some practice. Babbling is easy, it is just the techno bit that gets me.**

**Enjoy! **

**Chapter 1**** – Brief Introductions**

The Tardis rocked violently as it crashed through the Time Vortex. Alarm bells rang inside the spinning machine and flashing lights lit up the Doctor's worried face.

"What's going on Doctor?" Rose shrieked from somewhere beneath the console.

"Mauve alert!" Came the muffled reply from the Doctor who was presumably still attached to the foot that was pressing a button on the console near Rose's head.

"From where?!" Rose cried as she went flying across the floor at the Tardis' sudden landing.

"Somewhere far away!" The Doctor's head popped up from beneath the console, looking extremely tousled and slightly punch-drunk. His grin widened as Rose's grumpy face emerged on the other side of the console.

"You really need to work on landing…"

"Yeah sorry about that…" He scratched his neck looking faintly guilty, "I never did pass my test… Although, the flux capacitator ought to equalise the gravitational pull of the TARDIS to the position we land making it impossible to touch down in anyway other way than smoothly!"

"Flux capacitator's broken though, isn't it?" Rose grinned, her tongue poking out between her teeth.

"Na! It's just…out of order..." The Doctor mumbled scratching his neck again. Rose grinned at his childish excuse and said, "So, where are we Doctor?"

"No idea…" He looked at Rose, his grin suddenly dropping off his face like a person jumping from the top of a cliff.

Rose mirrored his expression perfectly, even the slightly open mouth. "Is it dangerous out there?"

"Could be…" He glanced at the door and back at Rose. "Maybe we should leave..."

They both looked at the door and suddenly burst into maniacal laughter.

"I can't believe you just said that!" Rose snorted, her hands clutching her ribs as violent laughter racked through her.

"Come on then!" The Doctor grabbed her hand and pulled her out the door, still chuckling.

* * *

They stepped out gingerly into an ordinary looking street somewhere in the heart of England. It was completely deserted. Papers lay strewn across the ground, moving ever so slightly as a zephyr blew past.

"It doesn't look so bad." Rose said, immediately regretting her fate-tempting words.

"Hmm" The Doctor said, his face grave. "We picked up a mauve alert for a reason." He was silent, turning slowly on the spot observing the surroundings.

Used to having to wait whilst the Doctor stood there looking mysterious, Rose picked up a newspaper.

"2004!"

The Doctor spun around at Rose's sudden cry. "What?!"

"You, Mr My-Tardis-is-a-sports-car have brought me to 2004?!" Her voice rose so high the Doctor could have sworn she went into ultra-sonic.

"Did I?" Came the nonchalant reply.

She shoved the newspaper under his nose and pointed at the date.

"Two… thousand… and… four… Dya get that? Or do I have to repeat it?"

"What is so wrong with 2004?" Now it was the Doctor's to squeal incredulously.

"I've lived through 2004. Nothing interesting happened in the middle of suburbia in some empty little town!"

"Well you never know… Time works in strange ways. It is like a big ball of ti—"

"Timey wimey stuff. Yeah, I've heard."

They stood in comfortable silence for a moment, looking down the deserted street. Nothing moved. Rose sighed. Mauve alert for what exactly? It wasn't like anything interesting or dangerous was happening.

"Rose…"

"Yeah?"

"Are you sure there weren't living dead in 2004?"

* * *

They both stared as a short man wearing a white shirt (that had red on it) ran past them brandishing a bloodied cricket bat in the air, yelling something about beheading "them" with a solid object. He zoomed past, closely followed by a series of limbs, attached, or in some cases NOT attached to the bodies of what appeared to be… zombies.

"I don't remember zombies…Do you remember zombies?" Rose whispered to the Doctor as they backed up slowly against a brick wall. "Funnily enough, no." he replied softly.

"Ooh, watch out." Rose had stepped forward again, to see where the man with red on his shirt had gone, to be forcefully pulled back again by the Doctor as a zombie-fied thing that slightly resembled a dog with huge fangs slouched past them, obviously in pursuit of the other zombies.

"Someone bit a dog?!" Rose cried incredulously. "Someone bit A DOG!!"

"Why is it green?" The Doctor muttered.

"Someone bit a poor innocent little dog, and you are wondering why it is green?!" Rose gaped at the Doctor who looked slightly taken aback.

"You're feisty today aren't you…?"

Rose snorted in a very unladylike manner and turned away, trying to keep her face straight.

"Was that a smile?" The Doctor teased, the corners of his mouth twitching.

"'Course not." Came the stubborn reply.

"But I saw a smile." A slender hand slipped around her waist. She squirmed but reluctantly let herself get pulled into a hug.

"Come on Rose! I like feisty." The signature boyish grin. Rose sighed and grinned back. "Sorry. I must still have that potion in my bloodstream…erm…the one that that guy, aw, what was his name…" She thumped her forehead against the Doctors chest and thought hard. "Lyon! That was his name, Lyon. Yeah, he injected me with something when he thought I was dead, even though I was just pretending to sleep because of the, oh wait…Caraczicfludinatol Mangarins! Yes I said it!"

They let each other go as they began to laugh.

"You're getting good at the pronunciations!"

"I am aren't I. Raxacoricofallapatorius!" More maniacal laughter ensued, echoing around the quiet neighbourhood.

* * *

A bony hand flicked the curtain open. Those two people standing outside his house were laughing! The cheek of it! He was the most feared being in the universe, yet there they were, standing next to his garden gate, laughing about some silly name beginning with R. Fair enough, the zombies weren't **that** scary, they were just slaves, but honestly, did these people have no fear at all? Couldn't they perhaps read the sign on the gate? Or maybe, they were unable to stop laughing? Were they on drugs? Well, he could certainly put them out of their misery if he wished to. But what was the point; he would let the zombies have their fun first.

"Harold dear!" A croak came from down the dingy hallway.

"Yes mother." The thunderous voice came from beneath a rather ominous looking black cloak.

"Where is that cup of tea I asked for? It has been five thousand years!"

"You mean 5 minutes mother." More thunder…

"Well it feels like five thousand years Harold!" The croak was growing shrill.

"I AM COMING MOTHER!" The thunder turned into a thunder storm accompanied by huge flashes of lightning.

"Alright there is no need to shout Harold. Your temper is getting out of hand. One day I will just end up as a pile of bones on the floor and then where will you be? "

There was a long, drawn out silence…and…

"Mother?"

"Yes Harold dear?"

"Where is the fire extinguisher?"

"I've got it in here Harold. Why on earth do you ask?"

The reply was mumbled guiltily, "I set fire to my cloak with a death glare and I just got it back from the dry cleaners…"

"Ok dear, I'm coming!"

_Creak…_

A bent skeleton hobbled into the kitchen wearing a flowery dressing gown and a hair net, bones rattling in their sockets. It dragged with it a fire extinguisher.

"Here you go Harold." The skeleton set the fire extinguisher at Harold's feet.

"Thanks Mother."

Something that could have possibly resembled a smile grew on the skeletons face.

"That is not a problem dear. Now put yourself out before the whole house burns down. Now, where was I? Oh yes! So how about that cup of tea?"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Lightning flashed wildly, lighting up the dingy kitchen brilliantly. Harold glared enraged at his mother. Why did she have to be so difficult?! Of all the times she could want a cup of tea. He was on fire for Satan's sake! Angry red light blazed out from under his hood aiming straight for….

The skeleton before him suddenly clattered to the floor to become a solitary pile of bones lying on the tiled surface. Death looked down at his last remaining relative solemnly.

"_Bollocks."_

**

* * *

** So that was the first chapter! (I gave up on the oneshot idea, this is going too well.) I hope you enjoyed it. I sure did writing it! Please move your pointer down and to the left and CLICK! (In simpler terms, please review!) Thank you! More shall be on its way sometime in the next century…. 

And apologies for the number of exclamation marks, they stalk me wherever I go.


End file.
